The past few weeks have been amazing, to say the least. Incredibly trying, at times - but truly amazing. When planning our second child, I worried about being able to cope with having to go back to the itty bitty baby phase - changing diapers every hour, nursing on demand, fumbling over their tiny... everything (everything about a newborn is just TINY compared to a toddler), sleepless nights and copious amounts of pastel laundry.
...but none of that has been an issue. Not one little bit. What nobody told me about having our second child was... that you don't even have to worry about the second child... it's the first one.
I was well aware that this would be a huge adjustment for Penelope. I was expecting some sibling rivalry. Some tantrums, etc. ... but to have it be the most challenging aspect of going from three to four, was not what I was imagining.
Penelope has become
I gave myself a lot of mommy guilt during my 3rd trimester, wondering how on earth things were going to work, bringing another baby into this house and how it was going to effect Penelope.
The first few days after Olive was born was rough. We had a LOT of tantrums. Despite having two other adults in the house, Penelope refused to go to anyone but me. The worst of all things, though was how much she freaked out over me nursing Olive.
Penelope still nurses once a day, when she wakes up in the morning. I prepared her months ahead of time by talking with her about how, when baby Olive came, that she would need to share with her. That I would need to nurse both of them.
"Two babies nursing?! I like that."
We talked about it every day and I was pleased, thinking that she understood. Little did I know - her interpretation was that I would not just be nursing two babies (Penny and Olive) ... that I would be nursing them TOGETHER. Tandem. Ooofta.
So, needless to say, there were many tantrums. Every time she saw me nursing Olive because Penny wanted to nurse too, with her sister. I tried bribing her with special (organic coconut water) juice boxes as an alternative. I hid in another room when I needed to nurse Olive. But she just didn't adjust to it. Then I realized - she was crushed. I had unintentionally built her hopes up and was denying her something that she truly loved.
So I gave in. I let her nurse with her sister.... and this was, basically what I saw:
...but across my breast. Penelope was SO happy. She couldn't control her excitement. She couldn't stop smiling, she caressed Olives face and held her hand. Olive stared back at Penelope. Why was I fighting so hard to prevent this?
So, needless to say, things have become MUCH easier. Penelope is completely in love with Olive - which is another thing I hadn't expected. I knew that she would eventually like her... but did not foresee just how much she would adore her little sister from the get-go. And we all do.
Olive is such a blessing. She has been very easy going so far, we could not have asked for a better baby. So far there has only been one night where she was up the entire time - and she just wanted to nurse - not much crying, luckily. She's a "no fuss" kind of girl - only cries when she needs something (to be fed, changed or she's cold)... and usually it's just a few squawks and she done. She's an excellent sleeper - only wakes up twice in the night to be fed and changed, which is very good for a newborn.
She has a very wise and pensive look about her. She sleeps a good amount of the day still, but when she is awake, you hardly notice her. A lot of the time, I'll think she is still sleeping, but when I go to check on her, she's just laying, staring at the side of her bassinet quietly.
Penelope could not be sweeter with her new sister. She has still been her active self, but I have been keeping ahead of her by keeping a long list of activities to keep her occupied - which has kept tantrums at bay. We're ever so slowly getting back to our old schedule, which has been gone for quite some time. I started a lesson plan binder to organize our projects and activities to be sure that I have at least a handful of things planned for each day - and I have even been coming up with a loose pre-school curriculum for her.
New to the schedule, our morning routine now includes a required Penny/Olive snuggle time - after I am finished nursing them, Penny always asks to hold her sister.
Penny loves to help when she can - throwing dirty diapers into the diaper pail, holding Olive's hand while I change her diaper, helping to bathe her, patting her back to help her burp after eating... today I abandoned a basket of clean clothes to take care of Olive... when I came back, all of the clothes were in a pile on top of the coffee table. As I started to organize and fold them, Penny walked up and said, "HEY! I just folded those for you!" ... she was so proud of herself for "folding" the laundry for me - I told her I was sorry and asked if she could help me put them in the basket to put them away. And she did.
Seriously, could she get any sweeter?!
As much of a whirlwind as these past few weeks have been, Alan and I have been making sure to keep on top of taking the time to savor every little bit. It's definitely challenging, with an active toddler who is literally learning something every second of the day and a rapidly growing newborn who is experiencing all of her firsts these past few weeks.
Olive's 1st bath @ 10 days old. We chose not to have her vernix washed off after birth because of it's antibacterial properties. We waited for it to completely absorb into Olive's skin to give her a bath.
With so much attention on Olive, we made sure to have some special things lined up for Penelope too. The same day that Olive had her first bath - Penelope had her first bubble bath! With Penelope's eczema, I never wanted to give her one because pretty much all bubble bath solutions contain chemicals that could make her skin break out. We've been using chemical free soaps with her. They're a little bit more pricey than other kids soaps, just because I have to order them and pay for shipping - but I was willing to dump in half a bottle of her body wash to give her this luxury - and she LOVED it!
We've also made sure to set aside some time play outside with just Penelope. We're very fortunate to have 3 adults in the house - so it's easy enough to have someone in the house to listen out for Olive while she is sleeping and someone can be playing with Penelope outside. We have been getting creative with different types of water and bubble play in the front yard: Fashioning different types of sprinklers, making our own bubble wands and "bubble snake makers", creating art with colored bubble solution, playing with water in different types of containers and, of course, playing in her pool!
By far, my favorite thing about these past few weeks are witnessing tender moments such as these:
Certain days can be extremely trying, as we work out our schedules to find out what works and adjusting to the chaos of having to care for two children while also taking care of ourselves... but our days have also been laced with incredibly sweet moments that instantly bring tears to my eyes. Nothing is sweeter than watching your children and partner fall in love with each other... or to feel yourself becoming just as smitten with them.
I never want to forget this time. Every little moment. There is not a second that slips away that I don't realize that I'll never get that second back. To tickle Olive's teeny tiny toes or to remember to memorize how sweet she is when she falls asleep on my chest. It's a tragedy that these kids grow so quickly - I am definitely aware how fast time is already going. Both of these girls change so much every day and I am extremely grateful to have the privileged to stay home with them every day.
Olive may be our last baby. Some day in the future, we may change our mind... but right now our goal is to provide the best for these two before we can even think about a third.
This is a sad realization: The last baby. The idea of it brings me to tears on a daily basis... or maybe it's the idea that someday, all too soon, my babies will no longer be babies. Have they developed a way to stunt a baby's growth yet? As excited as I am to see these two little ladies grow, I really just want. them. to. stop.
Right now.
Olive is only two weeks old, but she has already grown an entire inch since birth. AN ENTIRE INCH! I can't get enough of her and all of her sweetness. Even in the middle of the night, when I am dead tired - she will fall asleep while I burp her and I end up cuddling with her until I can't keep my eyes open any more. Every second I can get, I am cuddling this little love bug. Caressing her tiny tiny head and face. Holding her tiny hands and tickling her tiny feet. Smelling the back of her tiny neck and kissing every little inch of her tiny self. Trying to memorize every tiny bit of her.
I cherish every tiny bit of her.
Bless the both of them, I can't handle their cuteness!
